Stay tuned for more!!!!!

It has been a long time since I have posted something. So, I've decided to make up for it by some more rib-cracking, rolling-on-the-floor pictorial jokes. :)
     

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                                         HAPPY NEW YEAR TO                                                                           EVERYONE!!!
A year just passed by, giving way to a new one. Celebrate these moments with some new jokes.

:)!!

I noticed that all of you guys enjoyed the pictorial jokes. So, some more of them :)

Some more classic sardarji blunders. Enjoy!!!!!!

LONG FLIGHT

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"

"Just a sec," comes an answer.

"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!

ARCHER

A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an

arrow. "Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!" After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets. "You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."

"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service." The boy thanked him profusely.

"But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."

PERPLEXING PARADOX 

A crocodile caught a kid and when kid's mother came for rescue, crocodile posed her a question - 'U can make a statement. If you speak the truth in it,I will return your kid . Otherwise I will eat him.' And the mother agreed. The clever mother made the statement - "You will eat my kid'. Now, the crocodile is

in a dilemma of what to do.

TRAVELLERS SUBJECT

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort..

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as

a man.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

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You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:
• puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.
• sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
• tries to drown a fish in water.
• takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
• At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts
"Sagittarius.".
• studies for a blood test and fails.
• misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
• drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and
goes home.
• gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

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Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

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Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

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Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone

* * * * * *

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * * * * *

HEAVEN

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told
him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order
to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the
answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in
a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word

* * * * * *

EMPLOYMENT?

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the
columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary
Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he

wrote : Yes

* * * * * *

HEIGHTS OF REVENGE

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to
spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time he tries
to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn.".
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent.
Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not
for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing
a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the
mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says

"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

* * * * * *

DIARY

Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home, it's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow enough bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine.

Tuesday: We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But, Bob happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. Did they ever look startled when I served the salad.

Wednesday: I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice."So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the week. I can't say it improved the rice any.

Thursday: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the garden by my mom's. So I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there one hour so the dog would not take it. Bob came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why?

Friday: Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did, right over to my mom's house. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again it looked the
same as when I left it.

Saturday: Bob went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found a doll dress and some little shoes. I thought the hen looked real cute. When Bob saw it, I wondered why he counted to 10.

Sunday: Today Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast, but all we had in the icebox, was hamburger. So I put it in the oven and set the controls for roast. Must be the oven, because it still came out hamburger.

Good night, Dear Diary. This has been an exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come, so I can try a new recipe on Bob.

We all enjoy pics. So, this time some pictorial jokes!!!!!

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hee.......hee........hee.......hee.....

Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"

Sardar: "No, who wrote it?"

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Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

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Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?

Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

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I still don't understand how the sardarjis manage to do all this. :)

Hi!!! everyone!!!!

Hey everyone!

This is my first post, so forgive me if I get anything wrong.

All of us like to laugh. We all know that laughter is good for health. But many times life becomes too sad. So, to liven up these sad instances of life, I have some jokes you can laugh at. Whenever you feel down in the dumps, just open my blog and go through jokes guaranteed to liven your spirits. Go on, enjoy. ;)